She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
