I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
