i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i drank out of a bidet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
