I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
