we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They took my balls.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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