Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
