Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
