I want to walk on stilts...naked
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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