Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
