rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You took a bar mat shot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize