I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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