I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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