My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
