you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish you could order shots online.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
