I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
