I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
