thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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