Apparently you make a good broom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
