Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
