her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i permit you to call me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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