she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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