I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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