for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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