i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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