Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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