the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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