Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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