Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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