why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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