so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
