with your own penis?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
