My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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