just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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