I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
