he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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