You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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