I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sober January is a disaster.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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