WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
