Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
