No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
