she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We named our party play list daddy issues
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
