we have pet lesbian snakes
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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