never play flip cup with pint glasses
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
