Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
