I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize