i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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