but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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