After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize