I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
