I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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