So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
