He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize