Your favorite bartender is back from prision
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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