Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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