Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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