I think i sorta joined a cult last night
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
