South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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