She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
