Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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