I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
