suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
