Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
